But I stepped on a duck

Three women died together in an accident and went to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She managed to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on … very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?” The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

Boxers’ words and thoughts

Imagine a boxer stepping into the ring, and telling himself:

“I’m a loser. I’m a chicken!”

How long would he last?

Imagine a singer walking onstage, and telling herself:

“I’m pathetic! They’ll hate me!”

How well would she sing?

It’s a recipe for disaster.

Yet, lots of us use this same recipe every day. We tell ourselves:

“I’m fat.”

“I have a rotten memory.”

“I’m always broke.”

“I’m an idiot.”

Then we wonder why we fail!

If you expect to forget, you will forget!

If you expect to be broke, you will stay broke.

If you expect to behave like an idiot …

So how do we start to think positively?

The first step is to watch your mouth! Notice what you SAY about yourself.

From today, NEVER SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.

Never tell people: “I’m hopeless, I always screw up, my boyfriends always dump me …”

Make a commitment: “From today, I will not criticise myself. If I have nothing good to say about me, I will keep my mouth shut.”

It’s hard to control our thoughts - but we CAN control what comes out of our mouth. Once we take control of our language, we begin to have more positive thoughts … and life gets better.

Watch Pacquiao vs Clottey online free if you want to see more of this drama.

The Poem of Joey de Lleon

Here is the complete poem that Mr Joey de Leon, one of the main detractors of Kapamilya’s Wowowee Main Host Willie Revillame, had composed after Pappy have certainly made statements that made controversial news on TV and internet:

The funeral cortege of former Pres. Cory Aquino: My tears came naturally

Wala na sa piling ng mga Pilipino,
Tinig ng awiting Mga Kababayan Ko,
At lumisan na rin noong isang Sabado,
Inang nagpalipad sa awiting Bayan Ko.
Ako’y sumasaludo, paalam Pangulo,
May isa ‘kong lihim, kay tagal itinago,
Sa lahat nang inabot kong mga namuno,
Tanging ikaw lang sa luha ko’y nagpatulo.

Marami ang nalungkot sa iyong pagyao,
Magalang ang lahat at puno ng respeto,
Nagpasalamat pa nga Kapamilya sa ‘yo,
Dahil kanilang himpilan naibalik mo.

Subalit ano itong nabalitaan ko?
Nangyari noong Lunes, a-tres ng Agosto,
Habang inililipat ang mga labi mo,
Ika’y parang nabastos sa isang TV show.

At ang napakasaklap at masakit dito,
Ang nambastos pa’y kapamilya ng anak mo,
Napanood ito ng tao at publiko,
Kakaunti na nga, ngunit lahat nahilo.
Sabi ng TV host na mainit ang ulo
Pagkakita sa video na kanyang kasalo,
“Sandali, meron akong ano… sa’ting ano…
Hindi naman sa ano,” nagkaanu-ano!
Ayon sa Internet, meron pa s’yang nasambit,
“Sana pakitanggal muna ‘yan sa’ting traffic…”
At ‘di maaalis sa iyong pag-iisip,
Ang parada ng patay ang pinaliligpit!
At dagdag pa daw ng naghahari-harian,
“I don’t think na dapat n’yong ipakita iyan…”
Nasaan naman ang paggalang, o nasaan?
Mga sinasabi natin minsa’y pag-ingatan.

At ‘di pa nangimi nang sumunod na araw,
Pinilit pa ring ginawa n’ya ay tama raw,
Mga nakarinig ‘di na nakagalaw
At ayon sa iba sila na la’y napa-wow!

“… Pero ako, totoo ‘ko eh … “, sabi kuno,
Totoo nga at totoo ring walang modo,
Pwede namang sabihin itong pa-sikreto,
Kaya’t wala na rin mga paliwanag mo.

“Kung ganyan, pakita na lang ‘yan!”, ang hamon pa,
Para bang ang prusisyon nila-”lang - lang” lang ba,
Ang pangasiwaan ay pinapili pa n’ya,
Sumunod ang himpilan, nung August 5 wala s’ya.

May mga komentong pwede nang pang-harapan,
“On camera” baga sa TV ang tawag d’yan
At kung sensitibo man ang gustong bitawan,
Pagpasok ng commercial, hintayin mo na lang.

Matutong magbaba muna ng mikropono
At saka idikta lahat ng iyong gusto,
Lagi kang mataas lahat daw takot sa ‘yo,
Ratings lang ang mababa — totoo ba ito?

The breaking news breaks your heart — at ‘yan ang bawi mo,
Nang mahalata mong sumablay ang pasok mo,
Pero sigurado ika’y maa-abswelto,
‘Di ba ikaw rin ang may-ari ng network n’yo?
Nung Hueves nag-apologize sa diario naman,
O, akala ko ba wala kang kasalanan,
Tapos ng angalan, sunod paliwanagan —
COMPLAIN before you EXPLAIN ka na naman!
O ito kaya ay isa na namang “glitch” lang,
Tulad ng “two-zero” ‘di na natin nalaman,
O ito ay maliwanag na kabobohan?
Sa tingin ng marami, mahirap lusutan.

Ang sabi ng iba — istupidong mayabang,
At giit ng iba — istupidong mayaman,
Mayaman man o mayabang ang tiyak diyan,
Napakayaman n’ya sa kaistupiduhan.

Buti pa ang apat na honor guards ni Cory —
Sina Malab, Laguindan, Rodriguez, Cadiente,
Walong oras tumayo sa ulan at viaje,
Ang lahat ay tiniis at walang sinabi.

Samantalang ikaw na may bubong sa ulo,
Komportable ka lang sa malamig na studio,
Nang kapirasong libing sa TV sumalo,
Angal at inis ang sumambulat sa iyo.

Maaari din namang pabayaan na s’ya,
Subalit ang nangyari’y mabigat talaga,
Namayapang pangulo’y huling paalam na,
‘Di mo pa pinagbigyan … hoy, nag-iisa ka!

At nais ko lang sabihin at ipagyabang
Sa mahigit na s’yam na libong tanghalian,
Sa limang pangulong sa Bulaga’y dumaan,
Kahit isa wala kaming nilapastangan.

Just for laugh

 Here are some thoughts that will make you to … Ohhhh thoughts!

MISTER: wala akong tulog dahil naiisip ko P500K na utang ko kay pare.

Nanay: Inay, nagpapasalamat ako, kasi, kung hindi dahil sa kotse na ito, natumba na ako sa sobrang gutom.

Love Letter: A Deception

Once there was a man who loved a woman very much. In contrast the woman’s father does not like the boy. The man wanted to write a letter to her but he was sure that the woman’s father would read it first. But he decided to wrote the letter at last to the woman.
The great love I said I have for you
is gone and finally my hate for you
increases everyday. When I see you,
I do not even like the way you love

The only thing I want to do is to
look the other way. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very dull and in no way has
made me worried to see you again

You think only of yourself.
If we were married, I know that I would find
life very difficult and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not a heart

I want to give you. No one is more
demanding or selfish than you are and less
able to care for me and be of help to me
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth, please do me a favor

If you consider this is the end. Do not try
to answer this; your letter is full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true concerns for me. Good bye! Believe me
I do not care for you. Please do not think
I am still your loving friend.

The woman’s father read the letter. He was pleased and then gave the letter to his daughter. The woman read the letter and was very very happy. Why? Because she and the man had a secret way of writing letters with each other. She only read the odd line numbers. i.e the first line, then third line, then fifth line and so on…

My father is not crazy!

Two friends were talking:

1st : Do you know, my father shaves about fifty time a day.
2nd: What? Is he crazy?
1st : No, he is barber.

Welcome 2009! Laugh out Loud!

Happy New Year to of you! This is 2009 and I hope that laughing is still one of your hobbies. It is very free and no one can take it away for you. We are using just a little amount of muscles to smile or to laugh. Meaning just keep yourself happy for it’s easier to smile than to look sad. Even problems are there, keep on smiling. You will get old soon if you won’t make a smile each day. So laugh out loud and enjoy life.

SMART Student

TongPats - The ZTE Scandal Controversy Continues

TongPats is a slang term that means a kickbak, or a commission. It could be incorporated to the term "bukol" that ZTE scandal Jun Lozada had been mentioning before. But whatever terms maybe heard, it is still a malicious. The blu ribbon committee of the senate is determined to know wheter who is lying or not. 

That is the beauty if you are close to saddle. You can take anything you want and do anything you want without any intervention. Because you are protected by those in power. Mabuhay Philippines! hehehe

ZTE scandal galing kay Mark Logan

After watching this video, I actually wanted it to share it with you guys. Please feel free to rate your ratings! hehehe